The Reluctant Contractor

28 April 2008

Gah. I wrote a highly amusing and articulate post today and emailed it from work.

It hasn't arrived as of yet.

So I'll probably have to complete it tomorrow.

Please come back then.

17 Comments:

At 28 April 2008 at 20:16, . said...: I used my time machine to travel to tomorrow and can confirm, loyal readers, that the as-yet 'missing' post is a fookin' belter. DON'T MISS IT.
At 28 April 2008 at 20:51, Anonymous said...: Am looking forward to reading it!
At 28 April 2008 at 20:51, Red Squirrel said...: It is too :)

It's my weekend of baby-sitting retarded monkeys. Haven't laughed so much in ages :)
At 28 April 2008 at 20:59, Anonymous said...: I resent that remark; I thought we were quite intelligent monkeys...
At 28 April 2008 at 21:04, Red Squirrel said...: Not by 1am you weren't.

WANNA BURGER!!!!

ROFL OMG LOLZ etc etc etc. :)
At 28 April 2008 at 21:14, Anonymous said...: BLINDINGLY Hysterical night.
And by the magic of Jack Daniels, I don't even have a hangover. Combine Harvester boy a bit delicate tho, but not as bad as the king of the retarded monkeys, who hasnt sobered up yet cos he rang me 2 hours ago, and giggled hysterically down the phone for another 1/4 hour with tales of what happened AFTER I left.
My DEEPEST DEEPEST sympathies. :)

See ya at the cricket!!
At 28 April 2008 at 21:15, Anonymous said...: I didn't want a burger, I wanted smokes ...and to at least say goodbye to the senorita you chased away.

Why did he get a kebab if he wanted a burger?
At 28 April 2008 at 21:17, Anonymous said...: What cricket? And where's your pot o'gold? If I'm king of the monkeys does that make me King Dong?
At 28 April 2008 at 21:50, Red Squirrel said...: He got a kebab instead of a burger because he was a retarded monkey.

King of the Retarded Monkeys. That suits you so very, very much.

Ha ha ha.... :)
At 28 April 2008 at 22:46, . said...: Can I join the monkey gang? I have bananas!
At 29 April 2008 at 09:20, Red Squirrel said...: You'd have to come drinking with us, in like, REAL LIFE to do that.

And you're probably miles away from here - in america or something ;-)
At 29 April 2008 at 09:58, Anonymous said...: "retarded monkeys"? I resemble that remark!

If you went to the shops for some biscuits and they had choc cake instead - you would be more than happy - so Kebab it was. BTW how did KORMa get a bump and a graze on his head? Did he try his monkey straw kick on someone again and lose?

I'm sorry to the KORMa (not sure what the a stands for yet) for "losing" his date whilst he was looking the other way.

Mr reluctant - you did well with no medication to cope with us all!
At 29 April 2008 at 10:16, Red Squirrel said...: Did you mean resent, or is resemble the best freudian slip ever? *chortle*

He didn't get a bump on his head before I went to bed. He probably banged it while calling HUEY on the big white telephone....
At 29 April 2008 at 10:31, Anonymous said...: Hmmm ...and to think that I was going to offer her to the red squirrel to apologise for all the wimmen-folk I've chased away from him over the years just for sh1ts & giggles!

BTW - Kylie reads this too. Damn that efficient deep-south schooling system!

Conversation on the drive down on Sunday Morning:
token:- "What's that on the back seat?"
rm: "It's baby sick!"
token: "Are you sure baby sick is flaky pale creamy yellow?"
rm: "IT'S BABY SICK!"
At 29 April 2008 at 11:35, . said...: I'm actually in Scotchland, home of the cradle-to-grave alcoholic. Mother's milk is 90% proof, alcopops at playtime, vodka on the cornflakes.

Now if you'll excuse me, I fancy making a cup of my special tea. Assam teabags with milk and just a dash of meths.
At 29 April 2008 at 14:32, Red Squirrel said...: I'd guessed you were from the land of kilts and buckfast! :)

You'd've fitted right in last night by the sound of you....
At 29 April 2008 at 22:37, . said...: I can put the Smirnoff Ice away like nobody's business!

I'll be lifting a glass to Carter the Unstoppable Potting Machine, you can bet your hairy arse on that! :D

28 April 2008

17 Comments:

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