Stepping up boldly, one put out his hand. He said 'I was just a child then, now I'm only a man.'

Moving swiftly on from my last post which seems to have disturbed people despite my best intentions....

...according to 'Where I've Been' on facebook - which is rubbishly broken at the moment so I can't update my map - I've visited more than 10% of the world. Seeing as I'm mega-bored while I'm waiting for some testing at work I will comment the following things on places I've been:

Scotland - cold, lovely and sparsly populated (so long as you avoid Glasgow). Has snow, which makes it cool in my book.
Wales - wet, little else to commend it apart from Charlotte Church, the Millenium stadium and (for the purposes of this post) both BB and Weenie ;-P
Denmark - Germany with smiles. Aarhus has the bestest bar ever where you have to put one shoe in a basket which is hoisted to the ceiling to stop you walking off with the funky glasses.
Germany - studied there, visited more times than I can recall. The north is better than the south, which being catholic means that pub toilets have a crucifix rather than a condom machine, much to my chagrin one summer day.
France - incredibly friendly people outside of the major cities, good food, astonishingly expensive beer.
Portugal - went there for a few days to see a UEFA cup match in Braga. Would return in an instant. Sun, good beer, lovely people, lovely girls. Sigh. *checks flight prices*
Switzerland - needs better road signs to stop me driving all the way to the top of the alps before finding the pass shut and having to do a 150 mile detour. Nice border guards though for just ticking me off and not shooting me when I floored it through their border checkpoint (long story). Bloody expensive though.
Austria - Germany with more snow and less charm. Annexed by Hitler purely to add their superior footballers to the German national team. That's the most interesting thing about it.
Italy - stunning mountain roads, scant regard for driving etiquette (such as parking in the middle of the street and fucking off), as many chavs as Liverpool (well in Turin anyway). More pretty women than I could possibly dream about.
Czech Republic - Prague is just mind-blowing, wallet-emptying and jaw-droppingly beautiful all rolled into one.
Poland - Warsaw (before the entire population moved to London and Dublin) is a great place to go out, Krakow is beautiful, Auschwitz is haunting. Nearly died on the 7% beer though :(
Holland - Amsterdam is just Prague with drugs. Suprisingly small though, and has uncomfortable benchs for sleeping off a hangover.
Belgium - flat. Can be traversed in a 2 litre Renault Laguna in about an hour if you have a train to catch in Calais! Not that I'd recommend doing so. At those speeds it does about 3 metres to the gallon.
Greece - hot. Too much water and boats. And squid (yuck). Faliraki was an inspired place to watch the 98 world cup - apart from drinking enough to have a minor stroke :(
Hong Kong - a very strange place. About 200,000 'westerners' and 30 times that chinese occupying the same space without appearing to interact much. Watching the 7's was an experience I won't forget though. I'll be back!
Japan - I luuuuuurve sushi and tempura and katsu curry and....well....pretty much all Japanese food so ate like a king (apart from the salmon eggs which were disgusting beyond belief). Tokyo itself is just HUGE and thanks to the WW2 firebombing has no old buildings (only one tower in the Emporer's Palace is original). I made the mistake of staying in Roppongi which is like Soho. Cool but scary. Oh yeah, and they honey glaze naan breads. Wrong, just so very wrong.
Singapore - is an airport. Home to strange stalking people.
Thailand - I struggled with the poverty here. Then I had some money wired to me. Boom and indeed, boom.
Australia - been three times now yet not managed to make it to Perth. Famously flew there for 4 days to watch England get humiliated in the cricket. I'm still not sure why (and it was only last year *blush*) Sydney is nice, Melbourne is nicer, the thought of the spiders made my skin crawl, the flies made me want to nuke the place, the beer is served in girlie sized glasses and it's just too damn hot. The Blue Mountians and The Grampians are two of my favourite places in the world though.
NZ - North Island is nice but the South Island (Christchurch apart) is just stunning. The only other place I've been that felt like home. I'll be returning again and again, though would be nice to go with someone this time.
Peru - Macchu Pichu = a must-see-before-you-die experience. Standing above it as the mist slowly drifted down through the buildings and slid away through the streets like a skulking cat to reveal firstly the Temple of the Sun and then ruin after ruin was just magical. The walk from the Temple of the Moon to the top of the overlooking mountain was the scariest thing I've ever done (you have to pull yourself up a rock the side of a house above a 3000ft drop with no safety line and no-one around to help).
Bolivia - got held up in an armed robbery (as mentioned on here a few times), possibly the most interesting thing to happen to me ever :( I did get my photo in the Daily Mirror though, ha ha.
US - I've been six times to 8 different states. Wonderful scenery (Yosemite National Park is top banana). Populated by americans (yes, I do know there are some good ones). Was genuinely asked by a concierge in Atlanta if I knew 'Jolene Brown in London' purely because I was English. Was also there when Saddam invaded Kuwait and the reaction in the general populace was scary as fuck - I'd liken it to poking a hibernating bear in the nads with a stick, you just know that when it rouses then someone is going to lose their face....
Canada - america without the crime and lots of snow. This makes it infinitely better in my eyes.
Ireland - Dublin is the second home of stalking people, guinness, a series of baffling sports and more Poles than Irish.

I don't think I've forgotten anywhere! Feel free to add your own comments on places you've been to. I'd be interested :)