And now, adding colour, a group of anonymous latin-American meat packing glitterati.

(Post titles seem deriguer on blogs nowadays so I'm trying one out for size)

Girl1 has finally moved out. The place seems very empty now :(

I am going to miss having someone around, and Floyd is really going to miss having a substitute lap for when I'm away. He was not in the least bit happy about me not being here last night.
________________________________________________

An interesting time was had in Ashby last night. I may have mentioned Ashby-de-la-Zouch before, probably in tones of mock-horror. I contracted there for 18 months (ish) in 2002-2003 for a now-defunct exercise in how to waste money called Ramesys. It's a small town, surrounded by lots of smaller villages and it is officially* the arse-end of the UK.

My friend Token lives nearby and seeing as I was up to visit we thought we'd pay the old place a visit (the stupidly drunken things he and I did in Ashby at the time have passed into legend - sleeping on park benches on the high street in winter after missing all the taxis home at 2am being just one of them) - but more of that later....

I'd forgotten how boring a long motorway journey is, having got out of the habit over the last 9 months. Normally I'd switch into auto-pilot (yeah yeah, I know it's dangerous, blah blah), listen to the football commentary or something and just cruise. Being out of practice I thought I'd keep myself focused with a bit of AC/DC on the way up - nothing like some throat-achingly bad singing/shouting to keep your mind on the road. There is (sadly) no dignified way to sing in the car, you always look like an utter twat - while around you the other drivers are no doubt wondering why a spastic having an epileptic fit is overtaking them at suicidally dangerous speeds.

And you've got to admit that AC/DC are extraordinary lyricists - Back In Black (for that was the album I was headbanging to) includes the following deeply philosophical insight:

'Cause I'm back

Yes, I'm back

Well, I'm back

Yes, I'm back

Well, I'm back

Baaa-aaaa-aaaa-aaa-ack

(Well) I'm back in black

Yes, I'm back in black

[The subtext of which (I think) is a sort of joy at returning to something. In black.]

Anyway, after a wonderfully tender rosemary-encrusted rack of mutton with Token and family we headed into Ashby to hit the nightspot (used to be nightspots, but one is now a lap-dancing club which was a bit of a shock). Obviously not drinking at all, I found nightclubbing a seriously boring activity, though Token seemed to enjoy himself. The one club in Ashby is called Ciros (pronounced as Cairo's and I believe simply a misspelling). It's awful, truly, truly awful - yet at the same time strangely compulsive viewing. I people-watched all night as seeing as I was staying at Token's house I couldn't take back a crack-whore slapper (if you think I'm being harsh here then you've clearly never been to Ashby) even if I'd wanted to.

I saw the obligatory fight, the obligatory broken nose, the obligatory escorting of a dozen chavs off the premises, the obligatory under-age girl on coke being molested by someone nearly my age (not me, I hasten to add :) ) and more drugs selling than should be possible. There must've been more dealers than buyers.

I saw sixty people dance to Lionel Richie while making a curious upwards pointing gesture during 'Dancing on the ceiling' - were they helpfully explaining to their fellow dancers what a ceiling was perhaps? I could see no other reason for it.

I saw everyone's standards slowly slipping over three hours until they copped off with a monstrosity from Coalville (a neighbouring town). I saw one boy try repeatedly to slyly slide his hands into the back pockets of a large lady wearing two-sizes-too-small jeans and a three-sizes-too-small leopard print top. After failing for the 3rd time he simply warmed his hands in the rolls of fat hanging off her back. That's a mental image I shall struggle to rid myself of.

I saw some dangerously thin 16 year old wearing next to nothing wander straight outside into -6C weather without flinching. Kudos girl *doffs cap* - I was wearing my jacket in the club (it was freeeeeeezing)!

Ah well. It was good to see the place :)

*according to me, and I'm always right :-P