I wrote here about my puzzlement at stalker girl emailing me out of the blue, asking for my address and then not sending me the money she owed me.

I couldn't see a rational explanation for it.

I can now, or rather I can see a rather irrational explanation for it - stalker girl is really, really disturbed.

I've lived here for over ten years and so I've got a pretty good idea of what mailing lists I'm on - plus I'm signed up to the MPS so I don't get unsolicited mail anymore.

Imagine my surprise to find out in the last week that Miss Marie-Helene Campagne has applied for Winter Fuel Payments from my address, and that Louise Vall and Jon Courts have joined the National Childbirth Trust using my address (and not just the building number - my actual flat). This sort of thing has never happened to me in the last decade - it's too much of a coincidence. Call me paranoid if you wish but Occam's razor applies here as far as I'm concerned.

I wait with bated breath to see what other 'hilarious' organisations and schemes she's signed me up for (I assume the NCT one is some kind of sick joke because she knows that I know she can never conceive). If/when you're reading this you weirdo, then just stop it and grow up. As far as I'm concerned we parted amicably - and I did nothing to you to warrant this - so don't piss me off.

You really don't want to see me when I'm pissed off.