Just got an email at work from one of the girls I get on quite well with, titled:

'Can you do anything at all to speed up the internet on the client computers?'

The entire email was then:

'I've got lots of inductions to do and it's just getting really embarrassing now. Pages take about 10 seconds to load, even when it's just clicking on the back button.

I was just wondering if there were any emergency temporary measures you could take until we get the new server in place? '

Yes that's right, I just got asked to speed up the internet. Ha ha ha ha ha. :D :D

What am I expected to say? 'Yeah, no worries, I'll just go give the hamster some Red Bull'?

No wonder I want to leave this job :)