The post you've all been waiting for....

It's that time of year, that special moment in all our lives - yes! That's right! Iiiiiiiittsssss....

*drum roll*

Red Squirrel's Football Predictions Post

Yeah! Wooo! Go Squirrels!!!

[You can find last year's predictions here, and the results here]

Right then, these are pretty hard this year as the top four have all strengthened to varying degrees. Plus the ones from 12 onwards will be utter bollocks.

So, in the traditional order of ascending numberness:

1) Manure will win the league IF they buy Dimitar Berbatov (the moody, sulking wanker) from Tottenham. If they don't then I feel they will come a very close second to....
2) Chelski yet again, though Big Phil will take enough time to adjust to club football again that a small towel will cover Manure, Chelski and...
3) The Gooner Scum, sadly. Despite having a tiny squad and no defensive depth at all I get the horrible feeling they will come close to winning the league - falling short like an american swimmer only because of a spring injury to one of Fabregas, Gallas or Adebayor.
4) Liverpool will cement their traditional 4th and will be some way off 3rd as they learn the hard way that Keane is not the creative striker they need alongside Torres.*
5) I've done it before but I cannot help myself this year either - Spurs to finish 5th, narrowly heading Villa and Everton in 6th and 7th respectively.
6) Villa to finish 6th then :)
7) And amazingly, out of the blue like a diving Messerchmitt hiding in some clouds, Everton to finish 7th.
8) Mark Hughes of Manchester City to be the first manager to leave a Premiership club (resigning I feel).
9) Stoke, Hull and West Brom all to go straight back down.
10) No team will set a new record for lowest points ever.
11) Spurs to win the UEFA Cup (aim for the stars and no-one will complain if you reach the moon).
12) The Champion's League will NOT be won by a Premiership team.
13) Alan Curbishley to first complain about injuries in November.
14) Fat Sam Allardyce to be managing a Premiership club by the end of the season.
15) The top scorer in the Premiership will be Darren Bent.
16) England will lose at least one World Cup Qualifier before Christmas.
17) I will convert someone with no interest in football into a Spurs fan. It will probably take a lot of bribery but will be worth it in the long run ;-)
18) An unnamed (at this time) Chelsea player will be - at some point in the season - involved in a major newspaper story involving a teenage lady, a £150,000 car and a family size tub of Banana yoghurt *taps nose knowingly*
19) Kieron Dyer will last a maximum of 3 games before being injured again.
20) Ledley King will start no more than 12 Premiership games :(

*Thanks for the £20m though, la.



Anyway, predictions aside - I got sent this photo of myself today. It was taken on Sunday at the Spurs v Roma friendly. Having bemoaned my lack of weight loss yesterday I must say that I'm very surprised at how trim I look. The Beer Belly is no more! :-D