A veritable Nostradamus of the footballing world...

There's a radio advert for Windows Vista that I keep hearing over and over again at the moment. I've handily transcribed it for you:

"I'm Amy and I'm a reflexologist. I spent hours designing this perfect flyer and then accidentally over-wrote the copy I wanted. Luckily Windows Vista had saved a shadow copy for me so it wasn't lost, and it even played the perfect track to calm my nerves!"

Wow, so basically I should buy Vista because it clogs my hard-drive up with file copies I didn't even ask for and can play music (Music! How revolutionary! I don't think any computer has ever done this before!).

Where do I sign up?

**********************************************************

I got asked a great question today, and seeing as I share the wealth whenever I can I shall pose it to you.

"Should you be murdered tonight, which picture of you would appear in the newspapers tomorrow?

(The context here is the tragic story of a 16 year old girl murdered the other day who's picture was all over the front page of some of the newspapers today. It was one of those 'awwww, isn't she sweet? I hope they catch the people/person responsible and throw away the key' type photos. The colleague in question was concerned that the only pics of him were when he was drunk and looking like a bit of a twat. But then he'd be dead, so I'm assuming it's the shame-on-the-family angle that he's worried about.)

The follow-up question was "should you go on the run for a heinous crime then which picture would appear on the front page?"

We were all on firmer footing there, about 99% of photos of me make me look like a deformed serial killer (I'm not quite sure why....) so they'd be spoilt for choice.

To answer the first question, probably one of girl1 and I actually smiling when I look almost human. No chance of it going up on here though. I do not subscribe to Martini's theory that if you hide your eyes then no-one will recognise you :) Plus she models and is attractive so I think that helps somehow......

Feel free to email me your serial-killer photos for my amusement!

********************************************************

Anyway, time for the part you've all been waiting for (no, not the boring economic post - I'm in too good a mood today for that one)........*drum roll*....... it's time to see how good my pre-season predictions were! :)

Predictions in italics, gloating/explanation/excuse in bold....

1) Manure will win the league (again) Woo-hoo! One for One! Go me!
2) Chelsea will run them close, but infighting will break out in the camp and they'll self-implode by March. Couldn't really get much closer than the final game, but the infighting happened earlier in the season when Mourinho was sacked.
3) Arsenal will finish 3rd after they discover how to score goals after christmas. Reverse the halves of the season and I was spot on. Still, top three in the right order? *dons sunglasses*
4) Liverpool will finish 4th after a bright start fades away when Torres injures himself in a freak bottle related incident and misses two months. They'll struggle to hold onto 4th, finishing a mere 2 points above.... And top four all correct. *smugness personified* I should bet more often. Ah, no maybe not. Torres not having a bottle-related accident probably meant they were someway clear of 5th in the end.
5) The Mighty Spurs who will close the gap on the top four, but not by enough to break into them this year. We'll score more goals than anyone other than Manure though. Ah, well. *whistles innocently*. 11th is the new 5th. We all know that. We scored the 4th highest number of goals so I was kinda right. I'll claim a moral victory there :)
6) Wigan, Derby and Sunderland will be relegated. *cough* One out of three isn't bad. Not very good either however.
7) Man City will finish 6th and grab a UEFA Cup spot despite David Pleat having a seizure while trying to pronounce their midfield line-up. Tough one this. I thought this because I rate Sven Goran Eriksson highly and they started very well - winning seven out of their first ten and sitting in 2nd. However their new Thai-rant (gosh, I'm hilarious) then undermined everyone and they faded away. They ended up 9th but still got a UEFA Cup spot. Half right methinks.
8) The Mighty Spurs will get to a cup final :) Now where did I put my sunglasses? ;-P
9) But won't win it :( First time in my life I've been happy to be wrong, ha ha.
10) West Ham will get more players sent-off than any other team. Fail. Nowhere near correct. Only because their niggly players like Craig Bellamy were injured all season though.
11) David James will be England's number one when we don't qualify for Euro 2008. I've still got it! :) This was a left field prediction that was spot-on.
12) Chelsea will finally be prosecuted for poaching young players, despite their best use of the 'Chris Langham' defence. Sadly this didn't happen. One day though, one day *shakes fist at sky*
13) Benitez will shave that stupid beard off before christmas. He should've done. The fact that he didn't is irrelevant.
14) Sadly he won't realise that signing rubbish players like Pennant will never let him win the league. Let's hope he has. I'm standing by this one.
15) The Mighty Spurs will finally win away at one of the big four, then will lose at home to Wigan the next week. Ooooh, well we beat Chelsea away (at Wembley) then lost 4-1 to Birmingham (who got relegated) the next week. Close enough :)
16) West Ham will adopt 'No-one loves us, we don't care' as their new club anthem. They may have done, to be fair....
17) Newcastle will do exactly feck all. To be equally fair, anyone could've predicted that.
18) But Michael Owen will cripple himself again and miss at least 5 months of the season. Owen only missed 8 league games this season, so a big FAIL for me.
19) No English side will get to the Champion's League final. Followed by an even bigger FAIL as it's an all English final! *prays for meteor strike tomorrow night*
20) I won't win any of the Fantasy Football Leagues I'll enter! :) Done and dusted :) I bet I won't win any next year either, ha ha.